tired? thirsty? weary?

As I stepped into the sanctuary, each living fiber in my body was just groaning. I was tired. Multiple tasks to be completed, one stacked atop of the other. The work was truly getting to me.

"God I need Your grace."

I felt like my strength was sapping out of me, I just wanted to rest, and sleep. Could I? Could I just stop doing what I was doing? After all, I was working quite hard wasn't I?

"God I'm so tired."

My hands felt so heavy. My muscles felt like they could not contract to move. Could I truly worship while I'm feeling like this? When I feel horrible, akin to the term "like crap".

"God I need Your help. Please."

Maybe I could go lie down on the couch.

Too late. The music had started. I had to stay. Looking up towards the screen, the words of the song were put up, and slowly I scanned it. Word by word.

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light shines when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

"God Your grace, Your mercy is ever abundant."

I chose to lift my hands up to Him.

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

There were tears in my eyes at this point of time. The art of losing myself? All this while I was so occupied by what I was facing. All my problems, did I really let God be my help? Instead I held on tight, thinking I was the one to carry out every single task that was before me.

In my heart and soul
Lord I give You control
Consume from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
From the inside out
Lord, my soul cries out, Lord

It wasn't easy, to praise God from the inside out. Many of times I would just praise Him from the outside, but my inside was doing something else.
From the inside out. For His grace is abundant. Despite all I have done, I know He welcomes me with open arms.