O ye of little faith

Its nice when I'm proved wrong.

Student welcome planning
- We'll plan for 80 newcomers shall we? Fine.

- rush rush rush. Pray. rush rush rush. Pray. rush rush rush rush rus- Nearly forgot to pray.

- Will people come?

- You know, I don't think people will come.

- What if there are more people on stage than off it?

- We'll continue anyway. Even if one person comes, it's worth it. Really?

- I'm in charge. Have to stay focussed. Have to believe. Not in myself.

- But what if..

Student welcome night

- Last minute rush. Hook up laptops, projector, sound test. Peek out. Awed.

- Thank you God.

- Suddenly everything falls into place. Kind of. Its enough. I stand corrected.

Again.


"Take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test it's length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the lengths! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God."
Eph 3:18-19(Message)

Voice of truth!!!!

Casting crown – Voice of truth

Oh,what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says “do not be afraid”
And the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)I
will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe 'Causes Jesus You are the voice of truth
And I will listen to You.. oh You........


What an amazing song! Was really blessed by the lyrics of the song. In the midst of going through my Neurology block in Austin hospital, I felt overwhelming at times, especially when I am not familiar with this complex part of our body system & having all the consultants constantly bombarding me with thousands upon thousands of information and people around you answering the questions confidently & as for me; remaining at my spot, quiet, confused most of the times, trying my very best to understand their explanations, & crying out to God most of the time for His grace!

It’s not like I have a breakdown or something, or overly stressed or immensely pressurized, but it’s just tough walking through clinical years alone without experiencing His presence uplifting me every moment. But I remembered God assured me one day, telling me that I’ll be alright! That He is always in control of my situation, that I could trust in Him & His plans for me in future is to prosper me!

Exo1:12 But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew. During the times when the Israelites were oppressed by the Egyptian king, it grew even more. God is telling me to apply this to my condition. The more I feel oppressed, burdened by my studies, the more I will grow, learn more & get better! Was reminded of these verses,

psa4:8 I will lie down & sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Phil4:6-7Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer & petition present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart & your mind in Christ Jesus.

Psa55:16But I call to God, & the Lord saves me. Evening, morning & noon I cry out in distress, & He hears my voice.
Psa55:22Cast your cares on the Lord & He will sustain you, He will never let the righteous fall.

Psa56:3-4 3 Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?

I really thank Him for the love & the promises He made with me. This week, although workload continues to increase, His peace remains in me. His confidence assures me that “It’ll be alright”. I should not listen to the voice of my flesh, but focus & substitute it with the voice of truth! The voice that constantly says “Don’t worry”. The words of “Yes” & “Amen”. Like Peter, I should keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. Then my life will be like a journey of “walking above the water”. Filled with miracles & the impossibles! Filled with perfect love!!!

All is well.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;" Ps 103:11

This came to me for some reason as I was praying for our uni student welcome this friday. It's an amazing promise, though I think the reason I remembered it was cos it was a rather catchy song we used to sing back in youth group in Sitiawan.

As I look at the words, the words 'high', and 'fear' jump out.

'High' in that sentence is a pretty big word. Just as there are no ways to measure the distance btw heaven and earth (and its interesting that heaven can be considered a state rather than a specific destination, while the earth is a specific destination, implying that the distance btw them involves crossing different dimensions), similarly God's love for us is immeasurable. In a time when people try to define things by quantifiable means, this is mind-blowing. No limits, no boundaries, nothing we can do can set us out of reach of his love. (Notice, though, that while we are always within reach of his love, allowing it into our lives is another story, and something that we can choose NOT to do.)

'Fear'. What a weird way to end a perfectly nice sentence. Is God saying that those who love him the most, also fear him? That there can not be perfect love without fear? I believe he is. A brief exposition, if I may: 'Fear' in God's context denotes more than an emotion. I attended a study where fear in this context was explained as follows: 'The fear of the Lord demands our respect, awe, desire to please, and dread of judgement.' God loves such people. And though we may not embody all those 4 principles of fear at all times in our lives, God understands, for the verse continues:

"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Ps 103:12

It gets even better when we remember that the writer of the Psalms was David, also known as the adulterous king. He knew, more than anyone, the love of a God who redeemed and forgave.

desperation

As I read through Matthew in search of a message to share on God's love, I came across the story of the woman who had uncontrollable bleeding for twelve years (I'm guessing Von Willebrands disease or she has endometriosis... haha), and out of her desperation, her belief for a cure, she WAS cured.

Using the version from Mark 5:24-34

24 ...A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." 29Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

31"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "

32But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

I could only imagine that she was weakened from all the bleeding, probably too frail and tired to walk upright, and probably had to crawl to where Jesus was. The desperation was enough that she did what she did, just to touch Jesus' cloak.

Just a touch. Not even to ask if she would be healed. She didn't even know if she would be healed. Like us, we all hear stories about certain things, and yet we still don't believe! I am amazed with this woman, who pursued something that could be nothing, but with the little strength she could muster, she pull herself towards Jesus.

Have we forgotten what it is to be in desperation for God and His touch? Do we merely wait in hopelessness, and forget to chase after His healing? Are we no longer in faith, knowing what Christ has done before in our own lives, but each time, fearful that He may no longer want to hear the requests we present to Him?

Even so, even if we have forgotten how it all works, I believe even if we are desperate enough to cry out for His love, His healing, it will come. But please, separate this from the "I don't know if He will hear me, or I'm uncertain if it will happen," but just come in desperation, and not in doubt, for it says in Luke 11:5-12

5Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.'

7"Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness^[e] he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

11"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[f] a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

ASK! BELIEVE!

u are forgiven.

In regards to Bern's post the previous, here's my other response as I was thinking about some other things today:

This passage talks about a woman who was caught in adultery, and well,.... I'll just let you guys read.

John 8:1-11
1-2 Jesus went across to Mount Olives, but he was soon back in the Temple again. Swarms of people came to him. He sat down and taught them. 3-6The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, "Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?" They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him.

6-8Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, "The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone." Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt.

9-10Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. "Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?"

11"No one, Master."

"Neither do I," said Jesus. "Go on your way. From now on, don't sin."

You know, many of times, we really can't be convinced that we are forgiven.
Many of times, we can't come to God because we feel that we are far from God, and we can't come to Him unless we've done maybe a dozen good deeds. Or we've stopped sinning for a good 2 weeks. I'm sure you all understand where I'm coming from.

I am encouraged to know, that God really is not a judge on a high chair, looking down at you, at your every mistake and writing it down. I believe He sits at the edge of the chair, worrying that we might do something wrong, and that it will subsequently hurt us.

"Neither do I," said Jesus.
"Go on your way. From now on, don't sin."

Wavering

hey um,

is anyone having problem believing this? God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did... And (Abraham) not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah's womb. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. Rom 4

blatantly phrased: i sometimes look at my own body and past, and find it hard to believe that God has the power to restore my weakness and lack. what makes it harder is that i am unsure if He has promised anything personal and specific to me a.k.a. what's ze promise?

trust

Originally, a post from my blog:

The recurring theme this time round as I prepare for my exams (this Thurs), is really the issue of trust. Just looking at my preparation up to this point, I feel is inadequate, for whatever reason, I am uncertain. It's been really hard for my to sit and face God, as I feel that I have not done sufficiently in what I'm supposed to do.

But since when has it been about what I do anyway?

On Saturday, we sang the song that basically to me, talks about trusting God's name. There is no other name.

The week prior, I read Luke 11, it talks about asking, and Jesus gave the example of asking from a friend in the middle of the night, and how it would be given to the person not out of friendship but out of his tenacity.

Today, as I read Isaiah 30, there were a few key reminders as to who I'm supposed to trust.
Observe closely. ;)

From verse 15 onwards:
15 This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is you salvation, in quietness and trust is you strength, but you would have none of it.
16 You said, ' No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift.
...
18 Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

19 People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.

So, who is it that I trust? It's easy to prepare oneself to go into battle, having the best horses to ride you in battle, with the best weapons and best armor, the biggest number between the two sides, but does that necessarily equate victory?

Also, read psalms 20:7 and Luke 11:5-13.

A chun chick

While looking at the book of Esther, some interesting conclusions came to light.

1. King Xerxes, or King Ahasuerus mentioned in the book of Esther, is the same king Xerxes we've heard about in the movie 300. In chapter 2:16, he was just recovering from his defeat by the Greeks and the Spartans at Platea, after the battle of Thermophylae. This is the king that Esther was called to approach and ask for help. Understandably, she was afraid.

2. Something carried forward from Israel's ancient history:

1 Samuel 15:2 "This is what the Lord Almighty says, 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to the. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys."

Esther 3:1 "...Haman son of Hammedatha, the Agagite..." Agagite was synonymous with Amalekite.

When Saul failed to kill the Amalekites as ordered by God, Haman was the result. And Esther finished the job.


3. As a result of Esther realising her purpose, and making a tough decision, she is still remembered today.



Festival of Purim, celebrated in rememberance of Esther.

"That is why rural Jews-those living in villages-observe the fourteenth of the month of Adar as a day of joy and feasting, a day for giving presents to each other." 9:19

Here I am...

Just came back from Oxygen, the international student ministry here.... and this is just something that spoke to me during the sharing.....

Here I am.... 3 words, simple yet profound... in the dictionary, Here means in this place, in this location, I am, meaning I am present, now... these are the words of Moses ( Exodus3:4), Jacob (Gen 46:2), Jesus ( Henrews10:7) What if these people didn't say these words? What if Moses said,"Wow! Freaky bush!!" Maybe he wouldn't be used by God to bring the Israelites out of Egypt. If Jesus did not say ,"Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll— I have come to do your will, O God." Maybe we wouldn't be saved by grace today.

But they did say those words... and life wasn't perfect, it wasn't that they had no fears, no problems.... and they were all prep up, 'gang-ho' to do what God has called them to. Maybe Jesus was... but I believe for the rest, it was a matter of just taking that step of faith and saying, "God, Here I am." I suck, I am crappy. There is a million things wrong with my attitude and my life. But I am offering myself to You. Just as I am. Here I am. At Your disposal. For You to use me as You please.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.( Eccl 3:1) If we don't say Here I am today.... we might forgo the opportunities that God has given us to grow. If today we decide, Here I will be tomorrow.... when I am good and ready, when I graduate, when I start working, when I get married.... God will pass us by... the people we could have touched today may not be there tomorrow. The opportunities we have today might not be ones we will have next year.

So would your reply to God be, "Here I am."?

Humility

Mat 23:12 And whoever shall exalt himself shall be abased, and he who shall humble himself shall be exalted. (MKJV)

Alright, here goes. The above is probably one of the most recycled verses in the bible when it comes to teachings on humbling ourselves. I was thinking of it the other day- just a random moment, really- and I realised that there was more to this verse than just about "being humble".

God doesn't call us to merely get real with our ego and self-image because it's "not Godly". It is one thing to deal with your ego, but I've got a hunch that God is calling us to be more than just that. Over and over again, God has taught us to set ourselves apart from the rest of the world, not just because we're labelled "Christians", but really it's because we feed and live off His Word.

So how do we set ourselves apart from the regular "Humble Henry"?

Is exaltation by the Almighty himself the true reason we keep false pride at bay? What really hit me was that we're being called to be humble because it is through our humility and its manifestations in our actions and words that we exalt God's name for all to see. I personally see living life itself as a form of worship, and probably the most important as it impacts people in the strongest way possible and most importantly, it lifts up His glory for all to see. It's about humbling our own desires and perceived needs to put His will first in every thing we do.

I find it scary, really that this verse hit me in what i feel is a new way to me. My thoughts, feelings, emotions- not just my actions- need to be checked and double-checked from now on so that I may let Him do the judging. I pray to God that he may give me strength to be humble- in His ideal.

Help me out with this, guys.

All your boat are belong to Me

Was reading a random Max Lucado email...short and sweet reminders that I find very inspired and refreshing, and very very readable. He quoted from the gospels when Jesus borrowed Peter's boat in order to preach more effectively from offshore. Mentioning that Jesus practically comandeered the boat, he drew the parallel that it was Jesus' prerogative to do so.

All we have, our talents and time, ultimately belong to Him. And when we commit to following Him, He's going to demand their use regularly. Despite the fact that Peter was tired from a night's fishing, and was busy mending his nets, when Christ calls, we follow.

I can foresee this year being a bit more busy than the previous ones. Not just because its the last year before I start working, or just because I'm serving more actively with the students now, but because of a decision made to finally stand up and take responsibility. Responsibility for my relationships, with God as well as others, responsibility to be a witness, for my patients (soon-to-be or otherwise!), responsibility for making life decisions. And from reading this today, I may just have ended agreeing to something bigger than I've imagined.

When God pushes, I'd better prick my ears up and listen.

Keep me accountable, people.

Do you know...

Do you know, the flock of sheep is safer as a group then when one is astray? For the wolf is always in on the prowl, looking for one's that lost, to consume and ravage.

As I shared with the people of IMU yesterday about the post camp fire in their hearts, and how to continue to stay on fire. I told them, you have to come to church, you have to go for life group, but more importantly, it's the peers that help each other move along together.

It's the same basis as the verse below our 'ouch!' title.

In Philippians 2:1-4 (NLT) also talks about being united in Christ.

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose.
Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in other, too, and what they are doing.

Are we going about our own businesses? Or are we watching out for fellow sheep, helping them if they need help, walking with them if they are alone? Or are we too busy buffing ourselves up that we forget?

Let us then constantly remember each other in all we do, and encourage each other as much as we can.

Was reading Job these past few days and these verses really struck me

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me if you understand.
Who marked off it's dimensions?
Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set
or who laid its cornerstone
while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?
Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt.

Job 38:1-11

I have the most awesome God in the universe who created me, the universe, who has my life in His hands. What do I have to fear?

The Mirror From Heaven...

The Mirror From Heaven

I had a dream one beautiful night

The air was calm and the stars were bright

I was walking along a beautiful beach

And saw a mirror far out of reach

A light from heaven shone brightly at it

And made it float right to my feet

I looked down at it and saw my reflection

And picked it up all wet from the ocean

I was given a mirror, not knowing the use

But if it were from heaven I could never refuse

I saw myself with a mask in the mirror

And I screamed out loud from all the terror

I immediately knew what it meant

So I dropped to my knees and started to repent

It showed me who I really was inside

A person who came to church only to have lied

I woke up early that morning and immediately got down to pray

I knew I had to change my life on that very fine day

God spoke to me and finally made me listen to every word

He gave me a chance to change my life and made me look forward

Now I come to church not only for the friends and all the fun

But to mainly build a relationship with God’s own son

I sing hymns to praise God, rejoicing in His name

So believe me my friends, Christianity is real, not a game

~~~~~~~

I don't know about you guys, but sometimes I do question myself. Just the other day, I was sharing with Jon about my thoughts, worries, doubts, whatever you may wanna call it...

As a worship leader, much is expected of you... you are put in a place to lead the church into worship, you are stood in front of the congregation (with their beady eyes all on you) and expected to lead them into worship. If you are good at it, you would earn praises.

Are they praising me? or praising God's work through me?

Am I a worship leader because i wanna LEAD a worship session... or is it to satisfy myself by earning the respect of others as well as gain popularity within the church? Are my motives to serve the church right in the eyes of God? or am i just doing these things for the wrong reasons?

Sometimes it is difficult to figure out whether these thoughts are really from me... or whether it's the devil putting them into me. Obviously, my faith is being tested and i intend to win the fight.

So God, i pray that you will give me the strength to overcome all my doubts and worries!

Well, other than that... i'm perfectly happy and contented with life! :P

Cheers!

So the other day

Ed and I cleaned a carpet at our new house in Liverpool. This was a pile carpet, about 2 metres by 1.5, very dirty and dusty. There were a number of suspicious dark coloured stains around the corners, and the tricky thing was figuring out what colour the carpet might have been in the first place...it was so dirty.

Personally I thought it was beige, but then again, it might have been brown, gray, dirty gray, faded beige or any number of others.

The others were all for getting rid of the carpet and buying a new one. Ed and I stuck it out and stood by the restoration of the carpet, rather stubbornly, actually. Our plan was to see if we could clean a bit of itfirst before giving up on it totally.

Having got some superduper powerful oxi-stain remover from Poundland, we proceeded to try matters out. Half a bottle later, we waited for the carpet to finish oxidising while HP waxed pessimism about the outcome.

Scrubbing with brushes. we agreed hopefully that some of the stains were starting to come off. However it still looked like a houseful of dogs had been living and procreating on it for a week. In desperation Ed suggested we use the bathtub to soak the carpet.

Filling up the tub with water and dropping a washing powder in, we were heartened to see the water turning black. Scrubbing vigorously, we managed to convince ourselves our effort was worthwhile. Repeating the process again, we pondered whether considering the amount of water and detergent we were using, whether buying a new carpet would have actually been more profitable. However, the water looked noticeably cleaner after the 2nd wash.

After an overnihght soak to boot, the carpet now stands proudly in our living room, drying against the wall. We came to the conclusion that its original colour was a nice-looking brown.

As we wondered at how much work cleaning a carpet was, just thought of how much I needed cleaning myself. When no one else believed I was worth it, Jesus did. That much-quoted phrase 'white as snow' - its been a while since I've pondered on how much work that involved, and how much it cost to be made clean and whole, ready for the Master's use.

My very first contribution...

OOoo... Great! very honoured to be invited to this exclusive club... lol. Well, I haven't much to share aside from a new song i just composed. I've got to leave for hospital in like 10 minutes... So i have to hurry up and publish this... lol

Anyway, I've just spent like a whole night yesterday composing this song.... do have a listen when you guys are free...

_________________________________

EVERYDAY
Instrumental - mp3

Everyday is so beautiful
it's so wonderful
Now that You're in my life
In every way, You have given me
So abundantly
So I will praise Your name

Jesus Christ, oh how you've taken all my sins
Oh how You gave Your life away
So that I may live for You
Lord my God, I will praise and worship You
It'll be each and everyday
That I breathe and live for You
Oh, Jesus Christ

Now that I have found You, my God
You bless me everyday
I'm so in love with You
So now my God, I will run to You
To be close to You
And worship You my King

Everyday I live for you
Everyday I look to You

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Comments welcomed.
My other songs can be found at http://www.big-bad-boring-blogger.blogspot.com